A.I. G-Rated Chivalry

[RonR]

As Jenna stomped her way into the apartment, the door slammed behind her with a finality that reverberated through the tiny entryway. Muffled, squelching sounds followed her every step, making it abundantly clear that something had gone very, very wrong. A trail of brown mud smeared itself across the tiled floor as her once-pristine Sperry’s carried what felt like half the forest into her otherwise fashionable living space.

From the kitchen, her roommate, Alyssa, poked her head out at the sound of the door. She had been nursing a cup of coffee, hands around the warm ceramic. But the moment she caught sight of Jenna, she gasped audibly, her eyes going wide with shock, then rapidly narrowing into barely-contained amusement.

“Oh. My. God." Alyssa stared, frozen mid-sip. "What the hell happened to you?”

Jenna stood there, arms flat at her sides, her lavender top soaked with splatters of brown and streaks of green from errant leaves. Her once-white skirt was now a mottled disaster of mud, clinging uncomfortably to her legs, while her shoes—oh, her beloved Sperry’s—were practically unrecognizable blobs of filth. Even her sock, peeking out from one shoe, was caked with dirt, soaking wet and dark grey. A soggy strand of hair clung to the side of her face, still dripping with remnants of the forest floor.

She felt like an absolute disaster.

Jenna’s eyes met Alyssa’s, and after a beat of silence, a humiliated groan escaped her throat.

“Don’t even ask,” Jenna muttered, trudging toward the living room, leaving accumulated remnants of dirt in her wake.

Too late. Alyssa set her mug down swiftly, following after her, her childlike curiosity mingled with a barely-restrained snicker. “No seriously,” she pressed, circling around to the front of the sofa where Jenna plopped down with a loud, squelching thud. “Jenna, what on Earth happened to you? Did the woods beat you up?”

Jenna’s defeated gaze flickered upward, her lips forming a tight line, before she finally threw her arms up in frustrated resignation.

“Fine,” she said, blowing out a breath and pulling the muddy strand of hair out of her face. “Where do I even start?”

Alyssa leaned against the arm of the couch, crossing her arms as though preparing to be thoroughly entertained. “Oh, I’m all ears. And clearly,” she gestured broadly toward Jenna’s demolished outfit, “you’ve got a story.”

Jenna rubbed at her tired eyes—avoiding the muddy parts of her hands—and sank back into the sofa. “Okay, so, he,” she spat, emphasizing the word with venom, “wanted to go on a 'nature walk.' Right? He’s all like, ‘Oh, nature will be fun!’ and ‘We’ll see some wildlife.’” She rolled her eyes dramatically. “I should have known better.”

Alyssa stifled a laugh but not very well. “A nature walk?” Her eyebrows shot up expectantly. “And this is what you picked to wear?” She gestured toward the outfit.

Jenna scowled. “Yes, and it wasn’t a problem until—ugh.” Her hands fell to her sides, defeated again as she glanced down at her ruined clothes. “I thought it would be fine! It was a park walk on paved trails!” she protested, using air quotes.

Alyssa snorted. “Paved trails?” Her head tilted to the side, eyes practically sparkling at the situation. “And you chose white? White canvas shoes? White skirt?" she emphasized the word as though Jenna had just committed some heinous crime. "Babe, did you expect the woodland creatures to clear a path for you?”

“I thought we were just going to be, you know, walking and talking and enjoying the trees or something!" She groaned, glaring down at what remained of her flawless, now ruined, ensemble. “I thought it was cute. It's lavender and light. I wanted to look—I don’t know—presentable!” There was more emotion in that word than anyone would expect from such a simple statement.

Alyssa covered her mouth as laughter bubbled up, eyes dancing with unspoken judgment. “For a nature walk? Were you hoping to kiss an owl or something? Maybe a raccoon?”

“I was trying to be cute!” Jenna defended, gesturing wildly at herself. “The lavender top—it’s the one from that boutique we both like. I spent a ton on it because it’s supposed to hang just perfectly. And the skirt? Well, sure, it’s white, but it’s light and flowy. And the Sperry’s...” Her voice deflated with remorse as she looked down at the filthy shoes. “They were brand new. Do you know how hard it is to find white canvas shoes that go with everything?”

“Oh wow, I am dying," Alyssa cackled. "You dressed like you were going to brunch at a treehouse café!”

Jenna shot her a glare. “And whose side are you on right now?”

“I'm on the side of sanity, girl. I love you, but...” Alyssa leaned forward, arms on her knees, clearly delighted. “You should have, I don’t know, maybe worn something a bit more... hiker chic? Maybe at least expect some dirt on this little adventure?”

Jenna threw her hands up again. “Oh, I expected some dirt. Like, you know, maybe a little bit of dust. Some pebbles. But then—” she cut herself off, her voice growing more exasperated as she recounts the day. The frustration still very much alive. “He started joking around. He said there was dust on my shoes. I tried to hit him—playfully!—and then everything went to hell.”

Alyssa’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh no…”

“I lost my balance,” Jenna continued, her words tumbling out now that she was committed to the telling. “And—and this giant mud pit came out of nowhere. I fell! Backwards. Onto the ground. My entire outfit just... ruined! Top to bottom!” Her hands motioned downward in exasperation at her mud-covered self to emphasize her point.

At this, Alyssa clapped a hand over her mouth in an attempt to stifle her laughter, but her bright eyes peeked over her fingers, betraying her mirth. “Wait, wait, wait. You fell straight into mud?” She was clearly enjoying herself far too much. “And then what? Did he laugh?”

“Oh, he better not have,” Jenna seethed, gritting her teeth. “But it gets worse.” She visibly tensed, remembering the final insult of the day. “When I started walking away, my shoe got stuck in the mud.”

Alyssa couldn't hold back anymore. She let out a loud cackle. “You lost your shoe?”

“Yes! The mud swallowed it!” Jenna threw her hands into the air again. Frustration and residual anger were practically written in her clenched jaw. “My foot came right out, and my cute, little, white sock—” she emphasized the words, as if they were sacred—“landed smack in the disgusting mud.”

Alyssa doubled over in laughter, clutching her stomach. “Oh my God, you poor thing.”

“It was a nightmare!” Jenna ranted. “And then I had to dig the shoe out. I had to dump all the water and mud out of it! I looked like some kind of idiot standing there, half-soaked, trying to wrestle with nature.”

Alyssa wiped a tear from her eye, gasping between giggles. “Please tell me he at least apologized.”

Jenna leaned back into the couch, arms crossed, visibly seething all over again. “He tried helping me after, but it was too late.” Her expression tightened in indignation. “You should’ve seen me in the car. Poor guy didn’t even dare breathe.”

Alyssa, shaking with laughter, gave her a sympathetic pat on the back, though her grin never faded. “Babe, I love you. But honestly? That’s what you get for trying to turn a hiking trail into a runway.”

Jenna shot her a mock glare, though her shoulders relaxed. “I know. I know. Now all I want is a shower…”

“And maybe a funeral for those shoes.” Alyssa pointed at the mud-soaked remains of her Sperry’s.

Jenna scowled, looking down at her feet with deep remorse. “Honestly... probably.”

Alyssa finally stopped laughing enough to point to the bathroom. “Well, get in there. I'm going to pour you a glass of wine and order pizza. After this disaster, you definitely deserve it.”

Jenna’s expression softened at that, finally letting go of her anger—at least, most of it. “You’re the best, Lys.”

Alyssa smiled brightly, holding back a final laugh. “I know. And next time? Maybe we get you some hiking boots. Just a thought.”

Have Jenna describe him carrying her over the mud and his joking about her being prissy and how she found that to be offensive.

Jenna felt like she had conquered the woods when he set her down on the other side of the mud patch. And then….

 

[FeedBot]

Have Jenna describe him carrying her over the mud and his joking about her being prissy and how she found that to be offensive.

Jenna felt like she had conquered the woods when he set her down on the other side of the mud patch. And then….

Jenna stomped into the apartment, sludge and dirt trailing behind her as if she had emerged from a swamp. Alyssa, with a mug of tea in hand, was sprawled across the couch, watching her roommate’s dramatic entrance with wide eyes and a gasp already forming on her lips.

“Oh my God, Jenna!” Alyssa put her mug on the coffee table and sat up straight, eyes scanning the absolute mess of splattered mud, drenched socks, and deflated hair. "What happened? Did you battle nature and... lose?”

Jenna scowled as she peeled off her shoes, holding one between two fingers with evident disdain as mud dripped from its sides. “You don’t even know the half of it,” she huffed, her voice still tinged with residual anger. “I swear, I am never going hiking again.”

Alyssa bit her lip to suppress a laugh. “I mean, no offense, but what did you think was going to happen when you walked into the woods dressed like that?”

Jenna groaned, plopping herself dramatically into the armchair. “It wasn’t even supposed to be a real hike. He said he wanted to take me on a nature walk,” she explained, tossing her filthy shoes in the general direction of the entryway mat. “You know, just a cute stroll on some paved paths. Maybe a light trail. There's no way I thought I’d end up looking like I got in a mud-wrestling match with a bear.”

Alyssa folded her arms, eyes twinkling with amusement. “Okay, okay. Start from the beginning. You can’t just walk in here, covered in mud, and not explain this.” She waved her hand up and down at Jenna’s disaster of an outfit.

“Fine,” Jenna muttered, sinking deeper into the chair, as though recounting the day was exhausting in its own right. “So we’re walking, right? And it’s all fine at first, because the trails were paved—like I expected.”

“Mhm,” Alyssa nodded, pretending to take mental notes.

“So, I’m feeling pretty good because, obviously, I looked cute.” Jenna gestured at her outfit, though it was now beyond recognition. “I mean, I spent ages planning this. The lavender top—the one we both loved at that boutique—plus the white skirt and the Sperry’s?” She sighed. “I wanted to look effortlessly put together. You know, like one of those flawless Instagram girls.”

Alyssa couldn’t help but snicker. “Flawless, sure… and now look at you. Mother Nature clearly had other plans.”

Jenna shot her a glare, though she knew Alyssa wasn’t wrong. “So, things were fine. Until.” She paused dramatically, staring into the distance as though still reliving the trauma. “We got to this part of the trail that was totally washed out. Like, there was this huge patch of mud—at least 15 feet across—and it was thick. There was no way my shoes were going to survive.”

Alyssa raised an eyebrow, leaning in slightly. “And lemme guess, he wanted you to keep walking through the swamp?”

Jenna scoffed. "Exactly," she said, eyes narrowing in frustration. "But of course, I wasn’t having it. I stopped right there and told him outright, ‘I’m not walking through that. Not in these,’” she pointed at her filthy shoes, then sighed, remembering how spotless they had been just hours ago.

"He just stood there. Laughing. Thinking it was funny." She dug her nails into the armrest, clearly still bitter about that part. "'It's just a little mud, Jen,’ he said. Like my brand-new white Sperry’s weren’t about to sink into oblivion."

Alyssa, sensing the buildup to the punchline, grinned. “So what did you do? Make him carry you?”

“Exactly,” Jenna admitted, folding her arms. “I told him, ‘Unless you’re carrying me, I’m not moving.’ And, of course—because he’s him—he laughed and said, ‘Fine. Come here, Miss Prissy.’”

That word seemed to physically hit Jenna even in retelling, her expression souring further at the mere mention of it.

“Prissy?!” Alyssa blurted, holding back more laughter.

“Right?! I was like, ‘Excuse me?’” Jenna’s voice climbed, her indignation reaching a peak. “Who does he think he’s talking to? I'm not prissy, okay? I’m—what’s the word…” She struggled to find it, then huffed. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. So, he picks me up like Prince Charming or whatever, slings me over his shoulder, and starts walking through the mud.”

Alyssa covered her mouth, trying to stifle her giggles. “Was it romantic?”

Jenna narrowed her eyes. “No,” she declared flatly. “No. First off, it was humiliating. He called me prissy while I was literally in his arms. He was laughing. Like I was some delicate princess who couldn’t handle it. ‘Oh, Prissy Missy,’ he teased, like he wasn’t literally carrying me over a pit of doom.”

Alyssa cackled, tears starting to form at the corners of her eyes. “Oh my God, oh no.”

“I swear, I wanted to kick him while he was holding me,” Jenna grumbled, only half-joking. “But I held it in. I got through it. I told myself I would win. I’d conquered the woods. I even thanked him when he set me down on the other side.”

Jenna’s voice shifted slightly at this part of the story—tinged with a brief moment of triumph. “And for like, two seconds, I looked at myself and realized—shockingly—that my shoes were still white. My clothes were intact. I survived.”

"So you thought you’d made it," Alyssa said, still grinning. "You beat the forest.”

“I did. Until...” Jenna’s eyes darkened in almost haunted frustration. “Until.” She shook her head slowly. “I tried to play along with his joke, I went to give him a light shove in retaliation for, y’know, the whole prissy thing. But—”

Alyssa leaned in, bracing herself, eyes wide.

“I must’ve lost my balance or something. I don’t even know.” Jenna looked up, visibly reliving the horror. “The next thing I know, I’m slipping, and then I’m falling backwards—straight into the mud.”

Alyssa exploded into laughter, absolutely unable to contain it. “No! No! Oh, no way, you fell again?”

“Yes!” Jenna yelled, exasperated with the memory. “BACKWARDS, Alyssa! I’m talking full body splat. My hair—my shirt—my skirt—ruined. Everything just soaked. And there I was, sitting in the mud like an absolute idiot while he stood there, probably trying really hard not to laugh in my face.” She gestured furiously at herself, illustrating the absolute destruction. "Like, what the hell?!"

Alyssa laughed so hard she doubled over, holding her stomach. “Oh my God, Jenna! This is amazing.”

Jenna groaned, sinking into the chair further. “Yeah, real amazing. You should’ve seen my face.”

“I can picture your face,” Alyssa cried, still laughing. “I bet you looked like you wanted to murder the entire forest.”

“I did," Jenna confirmed. "And believe me, it gets worse. I tried to storm off after that, in some pathetic bid to salvage my dignity." She ran a hand through her matted, mud-encrusted hair and sighed. “But I left a shoe behind. It got stuck. So, of course, my foot came straight out of it, and when I tried to keep walking—‘splat.’ My sock goes right into the mud, and now I’m hopping around like an idiot.”

Alyssa gasped between fits of laughter, absolutely beside herself. “Jenna, this is golden!”

“Sure, golden,” Jenna grumbled. “So, yeah… I pulled the shoe out of the muck, dumped the water out, and shoved it back on as if I could still have any dignity left. Spoiler alert: I didn’t.”

Alyssa wiped away a tear from her cheek, still gasping for air. “Oh God, I think I just got abs from laughing… You poor thing.”

Jenna’s shoulders slumped, resigning herself to the chaos of it all. “So... yeah, not exactly how I envisioned my day going. I thought I was cute. I thought I’d beaten the woods. And then—bam. Nature had other plans.”

Alyssa finally calmed down enough to sit back and give her friend a sympathetic look, though the grin was still firmly planted on her face. “Well, I’m not gonna lie... That was the best story I’ve heard all week. But, hey, maybe next time? Let’s leave the white skirt and new shoes at home.”

Jenna grinned reluctantly. “Yeah, next time, I’m dressing like I’m ready to go to war.”

Alyssa snickered, standing up. “Good call. Now, get in the shower. I’ll get the pizza ordered, and we’ll laugh about this forever.”

Dragging herself off the chair, Jenna conceded. “Deal.”

As she made her way to the bathroom, she couldn’t help but shake her head at the absurdity of the day. Even if she wasn’t sure she could laugh about it just yet, she knew one thing for certain: Nature 1, Jenna 0.

 

[RonR]

Jenna stomped into the apartment, sludge and dirt trailing behind her as if she had emerged from a swamp. Alyssa, with a mug of tea in hand, was sprawled across the couch, watching her roommate’s dramatic entrance with wide eyes and a gasp already forming on her lips.

“Oh my God, Jenna!” Alyssa put her mug on the coffee table and sat up straight, eyes scanning the absolute mess of splattered mud, drenched socks, and deflated hair. "What happened? Did you battle nature and... lose?”

Jenna scowled as she peeled off her shoes, holding one between two fingers with evident disdain as mud dripped from its sides. “You don’t even know the half of it,” she huffed, her voice still tinged with residual anger. “I swear, I am never going hiking again.”

Alyssa bit her lip to suppress a laugh. “I mean, no offense, but what did you think was going to happen when you walked into the woods dressed like that?”

Jenna groaned, plopping herself dramatically into the armchair. “It wasn’t even supposed to be a real hike. He said he wanted to take me on a nature walk,” she explained, tossing her filthy shoes in the general direction of the entryway mat. “You know, just a cute stroll on some paved paths. Maybe a light trail. There's no way I thought I’d end up looking like I got in a mud-wrestling match with a bear.”

Alyssa folded her arms, eyes twinkling with amusement. “Okay, okay. Start from the beginning. You can’t just walk in here, covered in mud, and not explain this.” She waved her hand up and down at Jenna’s disaster of an outfit.

“Fine,” Jenna muttered, sinking deeper into the chair, as though recounting the day was exhausting in its own right. “So we’re walking, right? And it’s all fine at first, because the trails were paved—like I expected.”

“Mhm,” Alyssa nodded, pretending to take mental notes.

“So, I’m feeling pretty good because, obviously, I looked cute.” Jenna gestured at her outfit, though it was now beyond recognition. “I mean, I spent ages planning this. The lavender top—the one we both loved at that boutique—plus the white skirt and the Sperry’s?” She sighed. “I wanted to look effortlessly put together. You know, like one of those flawless Instagram girls.”

Alyssa couldn’t help but snicker. “Flawless, sure… and now look at you. Mother Nature clearly had other plans.”

Jenna shot her a glare, though she knew Alyssa wasn’t wrong. “So, things were fine. Until.” She paused dramatically, staring into the distance as though still reliving the trauma. “We got to this part of the trail that was totally washed out. Like, there was this huge patch of mud—at least 15 feet across—and it was thick. There was no way my shoes were going to survive.”

Alyssa raised an eyebrow, leaning in slightly. “And lemme guess, he wanted you to keep walking through the swamp?”

Jenna scoffed. "Exactly," she said, eyes narrowing in frustration. "But of course, I wasn’t having it. I stopped right there and told him outright, ‘I’m not walking through that. Not in these,’” she pointed at her filthy shoes, then sighed, remembering how spotless they had been just hours ago.

"He just stood there. Laughing. Thinking it was funny." She dug her nails into the armrest, clearly still bitter about that part. "'It's just a little mud, Jen,’ he said. Like my brand-new white Sperry’s weren’t about to sink into oblivion."

Alyssa, sensing the buildup to the punchline, grinned. “So what did you do? Make him carry you?”

“Exactly,” Jenna admitted, folding her arms. “I told him, ‘Unless you’re carrying me, I’m not moving.’ And, of course—because he’s him—he laughed and said, ‘Fine. Come here, Miss Prissy.’”

That word seemed to physically hit Jenna even in retelling, her expression souring further at the mere mention of it.

“Prissy?!” Alyssa blurted, holding back more laughter.

“Right?! I was like, ‘Excuse me?’” Jenna’s voice climbed, her indignation reaching a peak. “Who does he think he’s talking to? I'm not prissy, okay? I’m—what’s the word…” She struggled to find it, then huffed. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. So, he picks me up like Prince Charming or whatever, slings me over his shoulder, and starts walking through the mud.”

Alyssa covered her mouth, trying to stifle her giggles. “Was it romantic?”

Jenna narrowed her eyes. “No,” she declared flatly. “No. First off, it was humiliating. He called me prissy while I was literally in his arms. He was laughing. Like I was some delicate princess who couldn’t handle it. ‘Oh, Prissy Missy,’ he teased, like he wasn’t literally carrying me over a pit of doom.”

Alyssa cackled, tears starting to form at the corners of her eyes. “Oh my God, oh no.”

“I swear, I wanted to kick him while he was holding me,” Jenna grumbled, only half-joking. “But I held it in. I got through it. I told myself I would win. I’d conquered the woods. I even thanked him when he set me down on the other side.”

Jenna’s voice shifted slightly at this part of the story—tinged with a brief moment of triumph. “And for like, two seconds, I looked at myself and realized—shockingly—that my shoes were still white. My clothes were intact. I survived.”

"So you thought you’d made it," Alyssa said, still grinning. "You beat the forest.”

“I did. Until...” Jenna’s eyes darkened in almost haunted frustration. “Until.” She shook her head slowly. “I tried to play along with his joke, I went to give him a light shove in retaliation for, y’know, the whole prissy thing. But—”

Alyssa leaned in, bracing herself, eyes wide.

“I must’ve lost my balance or something. I don’t even know.” Jenna looked up, visibly reliving the horror. “The next thing I know, I’m slipping, and then I’m falling backwards—straight into the mud.”

Alyssa exploded into laughter, absolutely unable to contain it. “No! No! Oh, no way, you fell again?”

“Yes!” Jenna yelled, exasperated with the memory. “BACKWARDS, Alyssa! I’m talking full body splat. My hair—my shirt—my skirt—ruined. Everything just soaked. And there I was, sitting in the mud like an absolute idiot while he stood there, probably trying really hard not to laugh in my face.” She gestured furiously at herself, illustrating the absolute destruction. "Like, what the hell?!"

Alyssa laughed so hard she doubled over, holding her stomach. “Oh my God, Jenna! This is amazing.”

Jenna groaned, sinking into the chair further. “Yeah, real amazing. You should’ve seen my face.”

“I can picture your face,” Alyssa cried, still laughing. “I bet you looked like you wanted to murder the entire forest.”

“I did," Jenna confirmed. "And believe me, it gets worse. I tried to storm off after that, in some pathetic bid to salvage my dignity." She ran a hand through her matted, mud-encrusted hair and sighed. “But I left a shoe behind. It got stuck. So, of course, my foot came straight out of it, and when I tried to keep walking—‘splat.’ My sock goes right into the mud, and now I’m hopping around like an idiot.”

Alyssa gasped between fits of laughter, absolutely beside herself. “Jenna, this is golden!”

“Sure, golden,” Jenna grumbled. “So, yeah… I pulled the shoe out of the muck, dumped the water out, and shoved it back on as if I could still have any dignity left. Spoiler alert: I didn’t.”

Alyssa wiped away a tear from her cheek, still gasping for air. “Oh God, I think I just got abs from laughing… You poor thing.”

Jenna’s shoulders slumped, resigning herself to the chaos of it all. “So... yeah, not exactly how I envisioned my day going. I thought I was cute. I thought I’d beaten the woods. And then—bam. Nature had other plans.”

Alyssa finally calmed down enough to sit back and give her friend a sympathetic look, though the grin was still firmly planted on her face. “Well, I’m not gonna lie... That was the best story I’ve heard all week. But, hey, maybe next time? Let’s leave the white skirt and new shoes at home.”

Jenna grinned reluctantly. “Yeah, next time, I’m dressing like I’m ready to go to war.”

Alyssa snickered, standing up. “Good call. Now, get in the shower. I’ll get the pizza ordered, and we’ll laugh about this forever.”

Dragging herself off the chair, Jenna conceded. “Deal.”

As she made her way to the bathroom, she couldn’t help but shake her head at the absurdity of the day. Even if she wasn’t sure she could laugh about it just yet, she knew one thing for certain: Nature 1, Jenna 0.

Jenna asked, be honest would you have laughed at me? You know, I wasn’t dressed for getting dirty.

 

[FeedBot]

Jenna asked, be honest would you have laughed at me? You know, I wasn’t dressed for getting dirty.

As Jenna finally stood, dragging her muddy self toward the bathroom, she paused for a moment in the doorway and glanced back at Alyssa. Her lips were set in a curt line, but there was a mischievous glint in her eyes—just a sliver of her personality peeking through the layers of mud and frustration.

"Alyssa," Jenna said decisively, folding her arms across her chest despite the mud. “Be honest. Would you have laughed at me? I mean, look at me. I wasn't dressed for getting dirty, and—" She stopped, motioning with a half-hearted wave to her ruined, once-lavender top and splattered skirt— "this happened."

Alyssa’s eyes softened, but not without a spark of amusement still dancing behind them. Her cheek twitched, as if she were trying very hard to keep a straight face—much harder than she'd had to earlier, that was clear.

“Okay, listen,” Alyssa started, lifting her mug and taking what was definitely a stalling sip of tea. Setting it back down with exaggerated care, she met Jenna’s eyes and shrugged slightly, hands out in a gesture of half-defeat, half-sympathy. “I mean… yeah.”

Jenna raised an eyebrow, waiting for the rest.

“I would’ve tried not to,” Alyssa added quickly, holding up her hands like she was defending her honor. “I would’ve tried, Jen. But if I saw you—” she pointed loosely in Jenna’s direction to illustrate exactly how impossibly muddy she now was—"fall backwards while wearing that outfit?” Alyssa’s lips betrayed her, curving into a full, bright grin. “I mean, c’mon! I would’ve lost it instantly.”

Jenna groaned and shook her head, but even she couldn’t help the wry smile creeping onto her face. “Ugh, you’re the worst,” she muttered, though it lacked any real bite. Alyssa had, after all, known her long enough to earn passes for moments like these.

Alyssa leaned forward on the couch, her grin now unavoidable. “No, seriously, it's not because I’m evil,” she clarified, faking an innocent look. “It’s because you weren’t dressed for it, like at all.”

Jenna huffed in agreement, but she knew her roommate was right. She glanced down at the remnants of her outfit again, this time with a bit more objectivity. Her white skirt, which had been so carefully ironed this morning to keep that billowy, carefree look, was now glued to her legs with lumps of mud. Her lavender top—a deliberate choice because it always draped just so—was now tainted with streaks of brown and patches of dirt that clung to the soft fabric. And the Sperry’s? Oh, those Sperry’s. They were possibly the saddest part of it all—shoes that had been pristine just hours ago, now completely sullied by the unforgiving wilderness.

“You’re telling me you wouldn’t have laughed at this disaster piece of an 'outdoor' fashion choice?” Jenna asked, hands gesturing to her whole body.

“Well, I mean, no offense,” Alyssa said, eyes twinkling with mirth as her grin widened, “but you dressed like you were going on a picturesque picnic with woodland fairies, not hitting a muddy trail. Sweetie, you’re adorable, but seriously? White canvas shoes? That was your strategy?”

“I was trying to keep it cute!” Jenna protested, throwing her hands up. “I didn’t think it would be some kind of... survival trek.”

“Mhm,” Alyssa nodded knowingly, hiding a smirk behind her fingers. “Yeah, but nature doesn’t care if you’re cute.”

“That’s clear now,” Jenna sighed heavily, dragging a hand through her still-damp, partially muddy hair. “To think I actually felt like I’d survived when he set me down on the other side of the mud patch.”

Alyssa giggled, eyes glinting with sympathy. “You thought you had won. For two seconds. And then—” She clapped her hands softly together for effect, like a book closing. “Nature was like, ‘Sit down, kid.’”

Jenna let out a laugh despite herself, a weight lifting ever so slightly from her shoulders. “Something like that,” she muttered. “I just couldn’t believe it. One minute I was thinking, ‘Wow, look at me. Spotless. Not a speck of mud on my shoes,’ and then… bam. Backwards. Into the mud. Completely. Gone. Outfit ruined. Shoes destroyed. Dignity evaporated.”

Alyssa shook her head, still smiling warmly. “Yup. Classic,” she added with an exaggerated sigh. “And hey, I get it. I might’ve done the same. Except, I probably would’ve been wearing, you know, a hoodie and boots like a normal person.”

“Yeah, well,” Jenna said, stepping further into the bathroom doorway, her tone softening. “Lesson learned.”

“Oh, and one more thing," Alyssa piped up, unable to resist. “Next time a guy calls you ‘Prissy Missy,’ make sure you're not in his arms over a swamp. It's not a good position for slapping him.”

Jenna smirked, rolling her eyes. “Noted.”

With a soft chuckle, she turned toward the bathroom, giving one last glance back. “At least you waited until I asked if you’d laugh. He didn’t.”

Alyssa threw her a playful look, raising her mug in mock salute. “Well, I’m a better roommate. Obviously.”

“Obviously.”

And with that, Jenna disappeared into the bathroom for a much-needed shower, the sounds of running water quickly replacing the day’s mess—both physical and emotional. As the door closed, Alyssa leaned back into the couch, her smile softening into genuine affection for her messy, adorable roommate.

Because yeah, no question, she would’ve laughed her ass off.

 

[RonR]

As Jenna finally stood, dragging her muddy self toward the bathroom, she paused for a moment in the doorway and glanced back at Alyssa. Her lips were set in a curt line, but there was a mischievous glint in her eyes—just a sliver of her personality peeking through the layers of mud and frustration.

"Alyssa," Jenna said decisively, folding her arms across her chest despite the mud. “Be honest. Would you have laughed at me? I mean, look at me. I wasn't dressed for getting dirty, and—" She stopped, motioning with a half-hearted wave to her ruined, once-lavender top and splattered skirt— "this happened."

Alyssa’s eyes softened, but not without a spark of amusement still dancing behind them. Her cheek twitched, as if she were trying very hard to keep a straight face—much harder than she'd had to earlier, that was clear.

“Okay, listen,” Alyssa started, lifting her mug and taking what was definitely a stalling sip of tea. Setting it back down with exaggerated care, she met Jenna’s eyes and shrugged slightly, hands out in a gesture of half-defeat, half-sympathy. “I mean… yeah.”

Jenna raised an eyebrow, waiting for the rest.

“I would’ve tried not to,” Alyssa added quickly, holding up her hands like she was defending her honor. “I would’ve tried, Jen. But if I saw you—” she pointed loosely in Jenna’s direction to illustrate exactly how impossibly muddy she now was—"fall backwards while wearing that outfit?” Alyssa’s lips betrayed her, curving into a full, bright grin. “I mean, c’mon! I would’ve lost it instantly.”

Jenna groaned and shook her head, but even she couldn’t help the wry smile creeping onto her face. “Ugh, you’re the worst,” she muttered, though it lacked any real bite. Alyssa had, after all, known her long enough to earn passes for moments like these.

Alyssa leaned forward on the couch, her grin now unavoidable. “No, seriously, it's not because I’m evil,” she clarified, faking an innocent look. “It’s because you weren’t dressed for it, like at all.”

Jenna huffed in agreement, but she knew her roommate was right. She glanced down at the remnants of her outfit again, this time with a bit more objectivity. Her white skirt, which had been so carefully ironed this morning to keep that billowy, carefree look, was now glued to her legs with lumps of mud. Her lavender top—a deliberate choice because it always draped just so—was now tainted with streaks of brown and patches of dirt that clung to the soft fabric. And the Sperry’s? Oh, those Sperry’s. They were possibly the saddest part of it all—shoes that had been pristine just hours ago, now completely sullied by the unforgiving wilderness.

“You’re telling me you wouldn’t have laughed at this disaster piece of an 'outdoor' fashion choice?” Jenna asked, hands gesturing to her whole body.

“Well, I mean, no offense,” Alyssa said, eyes twinkling with mirth as her grin widened, “but you dressed like you were going on a picturesque picnic with woodland fairies, not hitting a muddy trail. Sweetie, you’re adorable, but seriously? White canvas shoes? That was your strategy?”

“I was trying to keep it cute!” Jenna protested, throwing her hands up. “I didn’t think it would be some kind of... survival trek.”

“Mhm,” Alyssa nodded knowingly, hiding a smirk behind her fingers. “Yeah, but nature doesn’t care if you’re cute.”

“That’s clear now,” Jenna sighed heavily, dragging a hand through her still-damp, partially muddy hair. “To think I actually felt like I’d survived when he set me down on the other side of the mud patch.”

Alyssa giggled, eyes glinting with sympathy. “You thought you had won. For two seconds. And then—” She clapped her hands softly together for effect, like a book closing. “Nature was like, ‘Sit down, kid.’”

Jenna let out a laugh despite herself, a weight lifting ever so slightly from her shoulders. “Something like that,” she muttered. “I just couldn’t believe it. One minute I was thinking, ‘Wow, look at me. Spotless. Not a speck of mud on my shoes,’ and then… bam. Backwards. Into the mud. Completely. Gone. Outfit ruined. Shoes destroyed. Dignity evaporated.”

Alyssa shook her head, still smiling warmly. “Yup. Classic,” she added with an exaggerated sigh. “And hey, I get it. I might’ve done the same. Except, I probably would’ve been wearing, you know, a hoodie and boots like a normal person.”

“Yeah, well,” Jenna said, stepping further into the bathroom doorway, her tone softening. “Lesson learned.”

“Oh, and one more thing," Alyssa piped up, unable to resist. “Next time a guy calls you ‘Prissy Missy,’ make sure you're not in his arms over a swamp. It's not a good position for slapping him.”

Jenna smirked, rolling her eyes. “Noted.”

With a soft chuckle, she turned toward the bathroom, giving one last glance back. “At least you waited until I asked if you’d laugh. He didn’t.”

Alyssa threw her a playful look, raising her mug in mock salute. “Well, I’m a better roommate. Obviously.”

“Obviously.”

And with that, Jenna disappeared into the bathroom for a much-needed shower, the sounds of running water quickly replacing the day’s mess—both physical and emotional. As the door closed, Alyssa leaned back into the couch, her smile softening into genuine affection for her messy, adorable roommate.

Because yeah, no question, she would’ve laughed her ass off.

What would you have been thinking if you were there watching from a distance? Me approaching the mud, being carried, standing on the rock all proud and then me falling? Can you picture it?

 

[FeedBot]

What would you have been thinking if you were there watching from a distance? Me approaching the mud, being carried, standing on the rock all proud and then me falling? Can you picture it?

Alyssa was still chuckling to herself as Jenna stood, glancing back toward the bathroom door. But her curiosity got the best of her, and she found herself pausing, arms crossed, as if considering something seriously. Then, with a hint of mischief, Alyssa leaned forward on the couch.

"Wait, Jenna… okay, real talk. What if I’d been there, watching? You know, just off in the distance, secretly observing all of this go down." The smirk on her face was growing by the second, and it was all too obvious that she was already playing the scene in her head. “Like, let’s say I was maybe a casual hiker having a snack nearby. Can you picture it? Me, watching.”

Jenna paused in the doorway, a small, wary smile tugging at her lips. “Be honest,” Jenna sighed, already knowing what was coming. “Go ahead.”

Alyssa grinned like the Cheshire Cat, her fingers tapping playfully on the armrest. "Oh, I can totally picture it."

Alyssa settled back, closing her eyes for a second in that overly dramatic way she did when she was about to tell a story. "Okay," she began, trying to hide the growing mischief behind her voice. "So there’s me, chilling at a distance with my hydro flask and probably a granola bar, just minding my business like a regular human being. And then, I see you emerge like some majestic, ethereal Highlands princess, all decked out in white. It's like, you don't just ‘walk’ into the woods. You float, you know? Strutting your cute new shoes, glowing.” Alyssa clasped her hands together now, mimicking awe.

Jenna rolled her eyes, but said nothing, letting Alyssa paint the picture.

“And then, oh, here's the best part." Alyssa bounced a little in her seat, continuing with too much energy. "I’m watching—sipping my water—and I see you pull up to that vast, swamp-like mud pit. Your face is so calm. You’re examining the trail like, 'Oh no, this will not do.’" Alyssa covered her mouth for effect as if still witnessing it. "And girl, you are not impressed. You're looking around like someone personally insulted your shoes."

Jenna couldn’t help but stifle a laugh at Alyssa’s accurate portrayal. “True story,” Jenna muttered. “I was really not impressed.”

“I know!” Alyssa cackled, her eyes gleaming with amusement. “And then, I see you pull the power move—you actually make him carry you. Like some… enchanted forest scenario. He picks you up, you’re all 'damsel chic,' and every step he takes, I’m just sitting there thinking this is straight out of a romance movie. But also way too good to be real."

Jenna winced as she remembered the moment. “Yeah, that was… something.”

"Oh, but wait, it’s not just that," Alyssa said, struggling to contain herself now. "Then he gets across the mud, and you—oh, Jenna, you are beaming at this point. You've won! You’re standing on that rock, looking all triumphant like some conquering queen. You’re probably ready to wave to the peasants." She gestured dramatically as if waving to an imaginary crowd.

Jenna put her hand on her forehead, biting down on her lip to keep from laughing. "Okay, that might be a tiny exaggeration."

"No way," Alyssa said, shaking her head, still grinning. “In my mind? That’s exactly what happened.” She placed her hand dramatically over her chest, imitating Jenna’s pretend regal stance. “And there you are, standing tall, convinced the nature gods are, like, blessing your entire existence. But—" Alyssa’s eyes widened, this time sparkling with anticipation. “Ohhhh man. Then I see it.”

Jenna groaned. “Here we go…”

“You go for the playful shove,” Alyssa continued, her tone now a delightful downward spiral, “and in that instant, everything changes.” She clapped her hands together again for effect. “Girl, you tilt back, arms flailing, and then SPLAT.” Alyssa’s voice was gleefully exaggerated as she mimicked Jenna’s fall, throwing her hands out like they were stuck in slow motion. "I’m dying watching you hit the mud like some tragic fairytale gone wrong. The crown's falling—" she made an exaggerated motion of something falling, "—your shoes are doomed, the skirt is wiped out, and you just... collapse!"

Jenna doubled over, finally giving in. “Oh my God, stop!”

“Babe, I would’ve tried so hard not to laugh,” Alyssa continued, barely able to stop herself now. “But, it would’ve been impossible. Like, I’d have to sit down and just let it out. In fact, I’d probably be watching with one of those videos playing in my head like, ‘Fail of the Day.’ It was inevitable."

Jenna wiped a tear from the corner of her eye, laughing because, truth be told, Alyssa was probably not that far off from reality. “You’re terrible,” she wheezed between breaths. “And somehow, I knew exactly that’s what you would’ve been thinking.”

“It’s all out of love!” Alyssa said, barely managing to put on an innocent face. “Like, I’d totally help you clean up after laughing. You know me."

Jenna pulled herself together, still shaking her head but smiling. "Alright, alright,” she declared, pointing a finger at her roommate playfully. “You’re definitely a terrible person, but fine, you would’ve helped… after."

Alyssa nodded sagely. "After my sides recovered, definitely."

"Unbelievable," Jenna quipped, rolling her eyes but still grinning. She waved her hand. "I’m done with you. I’m taking a long shower."

She started heading toward the bathroom, but before disappearing behind the door, she looked back once more and shook her head with amusement. "But for real? I can still picture the look on your face if you’d been there. It’s priceless."

“Trust me," Alyssa said, throwing her head back and chuckling, "It’s a vision. And you’d be legendary in our imaginary hikers' photo album. The Queen of the Mud Falls.”

Jenna gave a mock salute and disappeared into the bathroom with a final laugh, leaving Alyssa to enjoy the mental replay of the entire chaotic scene. And somewhere—if only in their shared imagination—Jenna’s legendary tumble into the mud pit would live on forever.

 

[RonR]

Alyssa was still chuckling to herself as Jenna stood, glancing back toward the bathroom door. But her curiosity got the best of her, and she found herself pausing, arms crossed, as if considering something seriously. Then, with a hint of mischief, Alyssa leaned forward on the couch.

"Wait, Jenna… okay, real talk. What if I’d been there, watching? You know, just off in the distance, secretly observing all of this go down." The smirk on her face was growing by the second, and it was all too obvious that she was already playing the scene in her head. “Like, let’s say I was maybe a casual hiker having a snack nearby. Can you picture it? Me, watching.”

Jenna paused in the doorway, a small, wary smile tugging at her lips. “Be honest,” Jenna sighed, already knowing what was coming. “Go ahead.”

Alyssa grinned like the Cheshire Cat, her fingers tapping playfully on the armrest. "Oh, I can totally picture it."

Alyssa settled back, closing her eyes for a second in that overly dramatic way she did when she was about to tell a story. "Okay," she began, trying to hide the growing mischief behind her voice. "So there’s me, chilling at a distance with my hydro flask and probably a granola bar, just minding my business like a regular human being. And then, I see you emerge like some majestic, ethereal Highlands princess, all decked out in white. It's like, you don't just ‘walk’ into the woods. You float, you know? Strutting your cute new shoes, glowing.” Alyssa clasped her hands together now, mimicking awe.

Jenna rolled her eyes, but said nothing, letting Alyssa paint the picture.

“And then, oh, here's the best part." Alyssa bounced a little in her seat, continuing with too much energy. "I’m watching—sipping my water—and I see you pull up to that vast, swamp-like mud pit. Your face is so calm. You’re examining the trail like, 'Oh no, this will not do.’" Alyssa covered her mouth for effect as if still witnessing it. "And girl, you are not impressed. You're looking around like someone personally insulted your shoes."

Jenna couldn’t help but stifle a laugh at Alyssa’s accurate portrayal. “True story,” Jenna muttered. “I was really not impressed.”

“I know!” Alyssa cackled, her eyes gleaming with amusement. “And then, I see you pull the power move—you actually make him carry you. Like some… enchanted forest scenario. He picks you up, you’re all 'damsel chic,' and every step he takes, I’m just sitting there thinking this is straight out of a romance movie. But also way too good to be real."

Jenna winced as she remembered the moment. “Yeah, that was… something.”

"Oh, but wait, it’s not just that," Alyssa said, struggling to contain herself now. "Then he gets across the mud, and you—oh, Jenna, you are beaming at this point. You've won! You’re standing on that rock, looking all triumphant like some conquering queen. You’re probably ready to wave to the peasants." She gestured dramatically as if waving to an imaginary crowd.

Jenna put her hand on her forehead, biting down on her lip to keep from laughing. "Okay, that might be a tiny exaggeration."

"No way," Alyssa said, shaking her head, still grinning. “In my mind? That’s exactly what happened.” She placed her hand dramatically over her chest, imitating Jenna’s pretend regal stance. “And there you are, standing tall, convinced the nature gods are, like, blessing your entire existence. But—" Alyssa’s eyes widened, this time sparkling with anticipation. “Ohhhh man. Then I see it.”

Jenna groaned. “Here we go…”

“You go for the playful shove,” Alyssa continued, her tone now a delightful downward spiral, “and in that instant, everything changes.” She clapped her hands together again for effect. “Girl, you tilt back, arms flailing, and then SPLAT.” Alyssa’s voice was gleefully exaggerated as she mimicked Jenna’s fall, throwing her hands out like they were stuck in slow motion. "I’m dying watching you hit the mud like some tragic fairytale gone wrong. The crown's falling—" she made an exaggerated motion of something falling, "—your shoes are doomed, the skirt is wiped out, and you just... collapse!"

Jenna doubled over, finally giving in. “Oh my God, stop!”

“Babe, I would’ve tried so hard not to laugh,” Alyssa continued, barely able to stop herself now. “But, it would’ve been impossible. Like, I’d have to sit down and just let it out. In fact, I’d probably be watching with one of those videos playing in my head like, ‘Fail of the Day.’ It was inevitable."

Jenna wiped a tear from the corner of her eye, laughing because, truth be told, Alyssa was probably not that far off from reality. “You’re terrible,” she wheezed between breaths. “And somehow, I knew exactly that’s what you would’ve been thinking.”

“It’s all out of love!” Alyssa said, barely managing to put on an innocent face. “Like, I’d totally help you clean up after laughing. You know me."

Jenna pulled herself together, still shaking her head but smiling. "Alright, alright,” she declared, pointing a finger at her roommate playfully. “You’re definitely a terrible person, but fine, you would’ve helped… after."

Alyssa nodded sagely. "After my sides recovered, definitely."

"Unbelievable," Jenna quipped, rolling her eyes but still grinning. She waved her hand. "I’m done with you. I’m taking a long shower."

She started heading toward the bathroom, but before disappearing behind the door, she looked back once more and shook her head with amusement. "But for real? I can still picture the look on your face if you’d been there. It’s priceless."

“Trust me," Alyssa said, throwing her head back and chuckling, "It’s a vision. And you’d be legendary in our imaginary hikers' photo album. The Queen of the Mud Falls.”

Jenna gave a mock salute and disappeared into the bathroom with a final laugh, leaving Alyssa to enjoy the mental replay of the entire chaotic scene. And somewhere—if only in their shared imagination—Jenna’s legendary tumble into the mud pit would live on forever.

This reminds me, wasn’t there a girl in our college biology class that did something similar on that field trip? She wore some preppy outfit and new white canvas Keds into the woods only to have a massive full body wipeout? I remember most that she was soooo angry. How did that happen?

 

[FeedBot]

This reminds me, wasn’t there a girl in our college biology class that did something similar on that field trip? She wore some preppy outfit and new white canvas Keds into the woods only to have a massive full body wipeout? I remember most that she was soooo angry. How did that happen?

Alyssa’s eyes lit up with recognition as Jenna mentioned the biology field trip. Her grin widened, and she practically jumped off the couch, completely abandoning her tea.

“Oh my God—yes! I totally forgot about that!” Alyssa’s voice was teasingly dramatic as if the memory was suddenly too good to stay forgotten. “That was Emily, wasn’t it? The girl who thought wearing white Keds on a muddy nature trail was a solid plan.”

Jenna’s face lit up with that familiar mix of horror and amusement as fragments of the incident started coming back. “Yes! That’s exactly who I’m thinking of! It was such a disaster… but also, kind of hilarious, you have to admit.” She walked back over toward the couch. “Because the more I replay it in my mind right now, the worse it gets.”

“Oh, it gets worse, alright. That’s what made it so unforgettable!” Alyssa said, already laughing at the thought. “How could you forget Emily stomping into that forest like we were taking a walking tour of Versailles rather than doing actual field research? I’ll never forget the preppy pastel outfit, hair perfectly curled, the white Keds—I mean, do you remember how shiny they were? Like she’d just bought them that morning.”

“Oh yeah,” Jenna nodded, unable to hide her grin. “She had no chill. Zero. It was like the goal was to look picture perfect for Instagram the entire time. She stuck out so much in that sea of hikers and students with their backpacks and hiking boots.”

Alyssa took a deep breath as she prepared to recount the event in full, her voice rich with amusement now. “I remember her walking to the front of the group like she didn’t have a care in the world, and we were all trudging along behind her.” Alyssa winced at the memory. “But that trail—oh, that trail—was rough after the rain the night before. It was nothing but mud patches. We had boots. She had—like you said—brand-new Keds.” Alyssa shook her head, still amazed at the audacity. “I knew the second I saw her shoes, it was going to be a disaster."

Jenna snorted. “Totally. Then, of course, we get to that steep, downhill slope…”

“Right?!” Alyssa interrupted, too eager to let her finish. “Okay, so she’s out here, traipsing down this hillside like she’s invincible, all while our professor's up at the top yelling something like, ‘Stick to the sides—the middle’s too slippery!’”

“Which, of course, she did not hear.”

“Exactly. She's too far ahead, marching right down the middle, thinking she’s living her best National Geographic life.” Alyssa could barely contain herself as she continued. “And then comes the moment. She slips—like it happened in major slow motion in front of all of us. One second she's walking, and the next she’s caught on that slick patch of mud.”

Jenna leaned forward, eyes wide, genuinely caught up in the memory now. “Oh God, and then—boom! Her feet just fly out from under her!”

“Oh, and she didn’t just trip. No way. It was like some epic wipeout from a comedy skit. Both feet went airborne.” Alyssa mimicked a flailing motion with her arms. “And down she went! Full-on spread eagle, crashing straight into the mud, her entire backside just... gone. Drenched.”

Jenna groaned, laughing, recalling the exact moment. “I’ve never seen so much mud in one place. It was like she dropped into a bog!”

Alyssa was shaking with laughter, barely able to continue. “The funniest part? For a moment, she just sat there, like in complete shock, blinking like she couldn’t process that she, of all people, had ended up in the mud.”

“Oh!” Jenna was practically doubled over. “I remember that! She stayed completely still for like a solid ten seconds, and the whole class was just standing there, not sure whether to help her up or die laughing!”

“She was so mad.” Alyssa’s laughter continued, her hands clutching her stomach. “When she finally scrambled up, covered in mud head to toe, I thought she was going to explode. If looks could kill, every single one of us—the forest included—would have been done for.”

“Her face was bright red,” Jenna added, wiping away a stray tear from laughing so hard. “And the worst part for her was—after all that—there was no going back. Like, we still had to keep walking. She was stuck in that muddy outfit for the entire trip.” Jenna winced in sympathy, though clearly still entertained by the memory. “And those preppy Keds? Destroyed. They didn’t stand a chance.”

“Destroyed!” Alyssa agreed, gasping for air and trying to catch her breath between bouts of giggling. “I bet she threw them in the trash the moment she got home.”

“I wouldn't be surprised,” Jenna said with a nod. “She probably vowed never to enter the wilderness again after that.”

Alyssa sighed, finally catching her breath as the laughter subsided. “To be fair, I would've been sooooo angry too. I mean, new shoes, a cute outfit, mud in every possible crevice? Just a nightmare waiting to happen.”

Jenna blew out a slow breath, nodding. “Yeah, I think on a bad day, that might have been me. But at least my shoes today weren’t white Keds, or I think I might have actually had a meltdown on the spot.”

Alyssa grinned, glancing back at Jenna. “Needless to say, history repeats itself, huh?”

Jenna gave her a wary look. “Don’t say it.”

“Field trip Jenna and Biology Class Emily? Twinsies,” Alyssa teased, holding up her fingers to emphasize how similar the situations were.

“Ugh! Please no!” Jenna groaned, laughing again. “She never heard the end of it.”

“Well,” Alyssa started, leaning back teasingly, “if you’re not careful, we might be revisiting today’s adventure in five years too.”

Jenna narrowed her eyes playfully. “You wouldn’t dare.”

"Oh, wouldn’t I?” Alyssa smirked. Then, after a beat of shared laughter, she added, “At least Emily provided us with an unforgettable lesson: never trust an adorable white shoe in the wilderness.”

“Wise words,” Jenna muttered. “Seriously, though.”

And with that, the two shared one last knowing chuckle before Jenna disappeared into the bathroom, thinking now about how both she and Emily had been betrayed by nature—and, almost worse, by a pair of doomed white sneakers that never really had a chance. Her only comfort? Maybe, just maybe, Emily was out there somewhere, laughing with her now… instead of at her.

 

[RonR]

Alyssa said to Jenna, now that we're talking about this stuff, that reminds of something that happened back in high school before I knew you. I was a senior and the weekend of prom there was a senior class picnic. I wore a polo shirt and shorts - nothing fancy - but my shoes were new. They were Lacoste brand - you know, with the little crocodile - white canvas. They were my new "summer sneakers" and I wanted to show them off. I park my car in the field while waiving at my friends and proceed to step out into a four inch deep puddle of muddy water. Both feet. Water instantly rushed in and they went from white to brown in less than a second. I couldn't believe it. It was one of those "Well that sucks" moments. How horrible.

 

[RonR]

Alyssa’s eyes lit up with recognition as Jenna mentioned the biology field trip. Her grin widened, and she practically jumped off the couch, completely abandoning her tea.

“Oh my God—yes! I totally forgot about that!” Alyssa’s voice was teasingly dramatic as if the memory was suddenly too good to stay forgotten. “That was Emily, wasn’t it? The girl who thought wearing white Keds on a muddy nature trail was a solid plan.”

Jenna’s face lit up with that familiar mix of horror and amusement as fragments of the incident started coming back. “Yes! That’s exactly who I’m thinking of! It was such a disaster… but also, kind of hilarious, you have to admit.” She walked back over toward the couch. “Because the more I replay it in my mind right now, the worse it gets.”

“Oh, it gets worse, alright. That’s what made it so unforgettable!” Alyssa said, already laughing at the thought. “How could you forget Emily stomping into that forest like we were taking a walking tour of Versailles rather than doing actual field research? I’ll never forget the preppy pastel outfit, hair perfectly curled, the white Keds—I mean, do you remember how shiny they were? Like she’d just bought them that morning.”

“Oh yeah,” Jenna nodded, unable to hide her grin. “She had no chill. Zero. It was like the goal was to look picture perfect for Instagram the entire time. She stuck out so much in that sea of hikers and students with their backpacks and hiking boots.”

Alyssa took a deep breath as she prepared to recount the event in full, her voice rich with amusement now. “I remember her walking to the front of the group like she didn’t have a care in the world, and we were all trudging along behind her.” Alyssa winced at the memory. “But that trail—oh, that trail—was rough after the rain the night before. It was nothing but mud patches. We had boots. She had—like you said—brand-new Keds.” Alyssa shook her head, still amazed at the audacity. “I knew the second I saw her shoes, it was going to be a disaster."

Jenna snorted. “Totally. Then, of course, we get to that steep, downhill slope…”

“Right?!” Alyssa interrupted, too eager to let her finish. “Okay, so she’s out here, traipsing down this hillside like she’s invincible, all while our professor's up at the top yelling something like, ‘Stick to the sides—the middle’s too slippery!’”

“Which, of course, she did not hear.”

“Exactly. She's too far ahead, marching right down the middle, thinking she’s living her best National Geographic life.” Alyssa could barely contain herself as she continued. “And then comes the moment. She slips—like it happened in major slow motion in front of all of us. One second she's walking, and the next she’s caught on that slick patch of mud.”

Jenna leaned forward, eyes wide, genuinely caught up in the memory now. “Oh God, and then—boom! Her feet just fly out from under her!”

“Oh, and she didn’t just trip. No way. It was like some epic wipeout from a comedy skit. Both feet went airborne.” Alyssa mimicked a flailing motion with her arms. “And down she went! Full-on spread eagle, crashing straight into the mud, her entire backside just... gone. Drenched.”

Jenna groaned, laughing, recalling the exact moment. “I’ve never seen so much mud in one place. It was like she dropped into a bog!”

Alyssa was shaking with laughter, barely able to continue. “The funniest part? For a moment, she just sat there, like in complete shock, blinking like she couldn’t process that she, of all people, had ended up in the mud.”

“Oh!” Jenna was practically doubled over. “I remember that! She stayed completely still for like a solid ten seconds, and the whole class was just standing there, not sure whether to help her up or die laughing!”

“She was so mad.” Alyssa’s laughter continued, her hands clutching her stomach. “When she finally scrambled up, covered in mud head to toe, I thought she was going to explode. If looks could kill, every single one of us—the forest included—would have been done for.”

“Her face was bright red,” Jenna added, wiping away a stray tear from laughing so hard. “And the worst part for her was—after all that—there was no going back. Like, we still had to keep walking. She was stuck in that muddy outfit for the entire trip.” Jenna winced in sympathy, though clearly still entertained by the memory. “And those preppy Keds? Destroyed. They didn’t stand a chance.”

“Destroyed!” Alyssa agreed, gasping for air and trying to catch her breath between bouts of giggling. “I bet she threw them in the trash the moment she got home.”

“I wouldn't be surprised,” Jenna said with a nod. “She probably vowed never to enter the wilderness again after that.”

Alyssa sighed, finally catching her breath as the laughter subsided. “To be fair, I would've been sooooo angry too. I mean, new shoes, a cute outfit, mud in every possible crevice? Just a nightmare waiting to happen.”

Jenna blew out a slow breath, nodding. “Yeah, I think on a bad day, that might have been me. But at least my shoes today weren’t white Keds, or I think I might have actually had a meltdown on the spot.”

Alyssa grinned, glancing back at Jenna. “Needless to say, history repeats itself, huh?”

Jenna gave her a wary look. “Don’t say it.”

“Field trip Jenna and Biology Class Emily? Twinsies,” Alyssa teased, holding up her fingers to emphasize how similar the situations were.

“Ugh! Please no!” Jenna groaned, laughing again. “She never heard the end of it.”

“Well,” Alyssa started, leaning back teasingly, “if you’re not careful, we might be revisiting today’s adventure in five years too.”

Jenna narrowed her eyes playfully. “You wouldn’t dare.”

"Oh, wouldn’t I?” Alyssa smirked. Then, after a beat of shared laughter, she added, “At least Emily provided us with an unforgettable lesson: never trust an adorable white shoe in the wilderness.”

“Wise words,” Jenna muttered. “Seriously, though.”

And with that, the two shared one last knowing chuckle before Jenna disappeared into the bathroom, thinking now about how both she and Emily had been betrayed by nature—and, almost worse, by a pair of doomed white sneakers that never really had a chance. Her only comfort? Maybe, just maybe, Emily was out there somewhere, laughing with her now… instead of at her.

Alyssa said to Jenna, now that we're talking about this stuff, that reminds of something that happened back in high school before I knew you. I was a senior and the weekend of prom there was a senior class picnic. I wore a polo shirt and shorts - nothing fancy - but my shoes were new. They were Lacoste brand - you know, with the little crocodile - white canvas. They were my new "summer sneakers" and I wanted to show them off. I park my car in the field while waiving at my friends and proceed to step out into a four inch deep puddle of muddy water. Both feet. Water instantly rushed in and they went from white to brown in less than a second. I couldn't believe it. It was one of those "Well that sucks" moments. How horrible.