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As Elaine drove, the corners of her mouth still twitching from quelling laughter after Janice's sister had hung up, she glanced over at Janice whose mood was still lingering somewhere around mournful frustration. Janice sat looking down at her mud-caked sneakers, rubbing her forehead like the memory of the disaster was slowly replaying itself in her head. That, or she was mentally calculating just how much scrubbing those shoes were going to need.In an effort to make Janice feel better, have Elaine tell a story where she had something similar happen her when she was in college. She was wearing a sundress and new white Keds somewhere she should have known better than to be dressed that nice only to end up muddy from head to toe. Have Elaine tell her story in detail.
Elaine, feeling a little bad for poking fun and knowing that Janice needed a bit more than casual teasing, decided it was time to even the playing field. She exhaled softly and began, her voice light but with real empathy behind it.
“Okay, okay. You know what? I should probably tell you about my muddy disaster," Elaine said, her tone shifting to one of someone fishing out a distant (and highly embarrassing) memory. "I know what you’re going through, believe me."
Janice, who still had her eyes fixated on her sneakers, flicked them toward Elaine, doubtful. “Seriously? You?” she asked, her tone somewhere between disbelief and curiosity. "You’ve made fun of me all day about this, so what could possibly be as bad as what happened to me?"
"Oh, worse," Elaine answered with a knowing smirk. “Picture this: College, freshman year. My super cute phase. You know, that weird window where you still care way too much about what people think during the first month? Yeah, that Elaine.”
Janice nodded slightly, intrigued but skeptical, giving Elaine her half-attention.
“So, it’s early spring," Elaine began, glancing at Janice. "You know, when the weather can’t decide if it’s trying to dump snow or hit you with warm sunshine? I’m feeling cute. I’ve been invited to this off-campus meet-up thing, kind of like a casual hike and picnic scenario with some friends. And do you know what I wore? I wore a sundress, Janice."
At this, Elaine paused for emphasis, her voice draped in exasperated self-ridicule. "Yes. A red-and-white floral sundress. With new white Keds.” She tapped her fingers on the steering wheel for dramatic effect.
Janice’s eyebrows shot up, her interest now piqued. “Sundress on a hike? White Keds? Oh no.”
“Oh yeah,” Elaine confirmed with an exaggerated nod. “See, no one told me it was technically a trail hike, and I clearly didn’t bother asking for details either. So there I was, dressed like I’m ready for an Instagram photo op, my brand-new Keds on their very first outing, and the sun kind of casually shining... but also, you know, one of those deceptive spring days where it just rained for like a week, so the ground is still basically a sponge.”
By now, Janice was leaning in a little, eyes expecting catastrophe. “You didn’t check the trail, did you?” Janice asked, the tone of someone already guessing where the story was headed.
“Nope,” Elaine said with a grin. “Naively, I was like, 'Sure, let’s do this!' thinking it was going to be some stroll around a nature park with good vibes and sandwiches. But when we got there, everything was wet. The path? Soggy dirt that basically hadn't been dry since November. Patches of mud everywhere. But, of course, being my overly confident, slightly oblivious freshman self, I told myself I'd be fine.”
Janice raised her eyebrows. “Seriously?”
“Yeah, seriously," Elaine replied, but the real kicker is, at first, I thought I was. I managed to avoid the worst of the sludge for maybe the first quarter mile. Everyone else was in jeans and hiking boots, of course, practically dressed for a survival course while I’m out here like I’m running late for a rooftop brunch in the city.”
Janice let out a small snicker, which only fueled Elaine to continue.
“I was balancing on little rocks like an uncoordinated ballerina, avoiding obvious muddy patches, doing those little side steps you do when you know you shouldn’t be there but you’re stubborn. And the Keds? Still kind of white. Kind of. Until we hit this low point on the trail.”
Janice visibly perked up. “Oh no, the low point, huh?”
“Oh, yeah," Elaine nodded, eyes playful but remembering every second of it. "It wasn't even just mud. Get this—it was like a ridiculous mix of mud and rainwater runoff, practically a pond. And to make it worse, there was no way around it. Every single person either went through or turned back. And me? I decided to go through because of course I did."
Janice let out a disbelieving laugh. “Let me guess, that’s when it all went wrong?”
Elaine grinned. “Not instantly, which just made it worse. I thought I found the perfect little crossing. There were a few flat stones leading across, and somehow in my mind, that meant safety. So,” she said with emphasis, "I'm focusing real hard, right? Gingerly putting one foot in front of the other… and as soon as I hit the third stone and confidently make a stride—"
Elaine slapped the steering wheel lightly for dramatic flourish. “—the stone shifts. Like, just slips under my foot and boom—I'm sliding right into the mud.”
Janice gasped, now fully engaged, her own muddy misery nearly forgotten for the moment.
“That stone was a traitor, I'm telling you," Elaine laughed. "So now I’m knee-deep in mud that I’m not even sure is real ground or just the surface of some bog. And guess what? My Keds? Gone. Completely swallowed into the mud—gone like they were never even on my feet. My sundress? Drenched. I tried to pull my foot out, and the left shoe just disappeared.”
Janice's mouth was open, completely immersed in the story. “What? You’re telling me you lost your actual shoe?”
“Yep!” Elaine confirmed with a snicker. “Everyone else was trying to help, but I was already two steps into full-blown disaster mode. My hair’s plastered to my face, my dress is… well, let’s just say it wasn’t exactly designed for endurance activities. And I was standing there, single-shoed, knee-deep in muck, on a trail I had no business being on in the first place!”
Janice, now laughing fully, piped in, “So what happened? Did you ever find the shoe?”
Elaine shook her head, chuckling softly. “Nope. That sneaker is still part of nature now, somewhere buried in the muddy depths of upstate New York. I ended up hobbling back to the parking lot, barefoot and dripping wet, covered in mud from the knees down. And to think, I thought the worst part would be stepping over a few puddles.”
Janice was practically crying with laughter at this point, the mental image of an elegantly-dressed Elaine, stranded in some muddy wilderness, too delicious not to savor. “You? In a sundress? Searching for your lost Ked in the mud? This is gold.”
Elaine grinned, happy to have restored her friend’s spirit. “Yup. I was drenched and as filthy as a person could possibly be while still technically wearing nice clothes. Moral of the story, my friend”—Elaine shot a playful look at Janice—“even if you’re convinced you can stay pristine, life has a funny way of throwing mud at your feet. Literally.”
Janice wiped a tear from her eye, her spirits visibly lifted. “Okay, okay, you win. That’s definitely worse than my mud-puddle disaster. But I’m still never living this Nikes thing down, am I?"
Elaine patted her shoulder, her laughter giving way to a kind smile. "Nope. And neither will I. But hey,” she added, “at least we’ll have killer stories for the next time someone else gets mud on their fancy shoes."