Please change Hannah from wearing wedges to Channel espadrilles. $700. White with blue trim.
### The Phone Call Begins
Later that evening, still finding bits of dried mud in the creases of her once-pristine dress, Hannah sat on the edge of her hotel bed, phone in hand, calling her sister, Emily. Emily lived several states away, but they kept in regular contact. And tonight? Tonight needed Emily’s ear. The moment the call connected, Hannah didn’t waste time.
"Em, you are
not going to believe what happened today," Hannah started, her voice tinged with both disbelief and the remnants of earlier frustration. "It all started with Lisa. You know, the reporter from Channel 9? The one with the ridiculous preppy outfits all the time?"
“Oh, she’s the one you guys always compete with, right? Same events and everything?” Emily replied on the other end, sounding amused already. “What did she do now?”
Hannah grinned, though it was more bitter than satisfied as she leaned back into the fluffy hotel pillows. “So we were at this ‘Anything That Floats’ race, right? Total trashy mess—duct-taped pool floats, bolted-together lawn chairs, the whole deal. Anyway,
Lisa—Miss Perfect herself—starts climbing onto one of the homemade boats. She was teetering around like she actually owned the marina, talking into the camera like she was giving a tour of some fancy yacht. And then…”
Hannah paused for dramatic effect.
“...she fell.”
Emily burst out laughing immediately, cutting Hannah off. “No way!
Lisa Murphy? Fell?
Off the boat?”
“Completely,” Hannah confirmed with a smirk. “She was strutting around, trying to act all bubbly and upbeat, making up nonsense about ‘pontoon stability’ or something, and before she knew it, the whole makeshift boat tilted.” Hannah was savoring every word. “Then her fancy little Sperrys hit the mud, and bam—her
entire yachting outfit turned into part of the shoreline. Mud everywhere. It was like slow motion. She was…
covered, head-to-toe.”
“Oh my God.” Emily gasped between fits of laughter. “I can’t imagine her face. Was she mad? Mortified? Please tell me someone caught that on film.”
“Of course they did,” Hannah laughed, still reveling in the memory of it. “And for a second, I was happy just letting her have her
moment, y’know, her little mud bath. But then I thought… why stop there? I mean, we had to cover it. It’s news, right?”
### Hannah Describes Her Outfit
Hannah leaned back into the pillows with a rueful sigh, recalling how flawless she had looked before it all went wrong. “And let me tell you, Em, I was absolutely
killing it in my outfit. I wore that white and navy nautical-striped dress—the one you loved? Super cute, boat-ready, perfectly fitted. Paired it with my Chanel espadrilles—you know, the $700 white ones with the blue trim? I’ve been
dying to wear them ever since I got them.”
“Oh God, those shoes are gorgeous,” Emily said, now fully engaged. “White with blue trim... So chic!”
“Right? They totally completed the look. I was feeling
so good, like, ‘perfect day’ good. Totally prepared for some light interviews and a classy little wrap-up. And here I am, strutting around like I’m in a high-end summer fashion shoot while Lisa’s over there trying to scale a janky raft made from pool noodles.”
Emily giggled. “I’m just picturing you now, standing there in your
Chanel espadrilles watching disaster unfold. So you were feeling pretty confident, huh?”
“Oh, beyond confident,” Hannah continued. “I was thinking, ‘I’m untouchable here,’ dressed like I just stepped off some yacht in Monaco, while Lisa’s over there
literally sinking into the muck.”
### Hannah’s Decision to Report on Lisa’s Fall
“And naturally…” Hannah said, the excitement building in her voice again, “I decided to make a story out of Lisa’s fall. You know me, I couldn’t let something like that slide. It was
too good. I mean, everyone loves a bit of slapstick, right?”
Emily snorted in response. “You’re ruthless. You actually reported on her? I’m dying. What did you say?”
“Oh, I didn’t hold back,” Hannah admitted, smiling at her own craftiness. “I went around interviewing the crowd—people were practically lining up to give their two cents. One guy said she went down like a ‘deer on ice’—I mean, can you imagine? Another said it looked like something out of a cartoon slip, like
bam, right into the mud. It was gold, Em.
Perfect coverage.”
Emily paused, a little more serious now. “But don’t you think that might’ve been a little… I don’t know, much? Like, what if it were you? It honestly sounds like you were piling it on pretty thick."
Hannah waved off her concerns, although her voice took on the defensive inflection of someone managing some minor guilt. "Oh, please, Lisa will get over it. She plays like she's this pristine yacht princess—if she wants to act like she's above it all, then she can handle a little public humility. Besides, I was just reporting what was happening. It's not like I forced her to dive-bomb into the mud."
Emily was still laughing, but something in her voice softened as she added, “Yeah, but still… Lisa’s annoying, but, Hannah, you might want to watch out for the karma gods on this one.”
### The Final Shot: A Fateful Decision
Hannah grinned mischievously, moving toward the moment she had been anticipating describing. “Funny thing about karma. So, after all those interviews, I thought: why not go for one last, perfect, contrast shot? You know—the elegant, prepared reporter giving her final word on the mess from a
safe, clean distance.”
Emily giggled nervously. “Oh no... I’m sensing this headed somewhere.”
“Well, I had Jake—our cameraman—line me up just perfectly. There I was, about to get that final ‘after the accident’ segment. Lisa was covered in mud, off to the side, still trying to scrape it all off. And there I stood, in my flawless nautical dress, my
Chanel espadrilles still sparkling white and—UGH—then I got
too close to the mud.”
“Oh
no,” Emily gasped, now fully leaning into the train wreck.
“I was feeling confident,” Hannah continued, her voice now heavy with irony. “I stepped forward, right next to where Lisa had taken her spill. I thought as long as I didn’t move too much, my espadrilles would be fine; they’ve got that solid rope sole. I figured I was safe. But nope...” She winced at the memory. “My heel sank right into the mud, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I tried pulling it out, but the suction noise should’ve been a warning. The more I pulled, the further it sank, and then...”
“What?” Emily asked breathlessly.
“I toppled backward and fell—
hard—back into the same mud pit,” Hannah said, her voice now tinged with disbelief. “Em, I was
completely covered. My
Chanel espadrilles were ruined! The white was gone, replaced with streaks of brown, and my dress... a total travesty. The crowd? Oh, they loved it. Cheering, laughing—I was
the next Lisa. Literally.”
Emily erupted into laughter, barely able to get the words out, “Oh my God, Hannah, the
universe got you good!”
Hannah sighed, her voice devoid of the earlier smugness. “I guess I deserved it. The last thing I heard as I fell was one of the bystanders saying, ‘Looks like karma’s having a field day.’”
Emily was barely able to contain her glee. “I’m so sorry, but this is too funny! You basically sabotaged yourself!”
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” Hannah muttered, but even she couldn’t help the laugh that slipped through. “I swear, I thought I had it all under control. Instead, I ended up wearing fifty bucks worth of mud on top of my luxury espadrilles."
Emily took a breath, composing herself. “Well, you know what they say... you’re only one slip away from joining the club.”
Hannah chuckled. “Next time, I’m skipping the Chanel and wearing rubber boots. Or maybe... just staying
far away from Lisa’s next disaster.”
At least for today, the mud had a way of humbling even the highest heels—luxury name tags included.